Nine

Domino celebrated his 9th birthday this weekend.  While I was running around like a lunatic trying to get ready for the party, I had a moment of pause while washing dishes, and I remembered events from the day he was born. 

 *****

I remembered the feeling of realization that my water broke.  It was about 1:30 AM and I thought I was wetting the bed and couldn't stop.  A scary feeling either way.

I remembered calling the on-call OBGYN and he groggily said "If you're not feeling contractions, stay home until you do."  I think he just wanted to go back to sleep.  We stayed home and not much happened through the night.  Tonester slept and I kept waiting for something. We drove down to the hospital around 10:00 AM, hoping they'd check us in and we'd have a baby soon.  They looked me over, strapped the belly monitor on, then sent us on our way declaring "When you're really feeling the contractions, give us a call and come back".  I remembered feeling disappointed and pissed.

I remembered how we hung out in Marin near the hospital, not wanting to drive all the way back home to Napa County just to turn back around "when I felt the contractions".  We ate lunch at Chili's. We dropped in to my OBGYN's office, hoping he'd give us the go ahead to stay at the hospital.  "Go relax at home, call when you feel the contractions.  If you don't call by tomorrow morning, we'll schedule you for induction."  So we headed home.

I remembered we were home about an hour before I started to feel the contractions.  "How exciting!  I'm feeling contractions!  Isn't this exciting?!" I thought.  Tonester announced he wanted to take a shower before we went back to the hospital.  While he was in the shower, I felt a CONTRACTION.  It was so painful, I jumped up off the couch and ran around my living room - like I could run away from the pain??  The next CONTRACTION had me on all fours on the living room floor.  And Tonester was still taking his sweet ass time in the shower...

I remembered eventually making it to the hospital and a lot of deep breathing on the car ride there.  I remembered telling Tonester that when the nurse checked me out, if she said I was at anything less than 2 centimeters, I just might kill her.  (I'm one of those women in labor)  Thank goodness for the nurse's sake, I was at a whopping 3 centimeters.  She disappeared to get me "something to take the edge off".  She was gone for an eternity.  I think she was still pissed at me for threatening her life.  I remembered pleading with Tonester to go find her, grabbing on to his wrist and begging, I might have even suggested if he really loved me he would steal some drugs for me from somewhere.  He didn't and I told him he was next on my hit list.  Eventually the nurse returned and I'm sure she was just as happy to shove that needle of meds in me to shut me up as I was to receive it.  Before the meds even kicked in, I called dibs on the next anesthesiologist for an epidural.

I remembered the epidural wasn't the pain free birthing method I expected.
I remembered watching TV for hours "while my labor progressed" while Tonester napped.
I remembered being told to push.
I remembered being told to stop pushing so my OB could get there.  I remembered thinking they were nuts.
I remembered there was a blinding burning pain.
I remembered being told to reach down and help pull my baby out of my body.  I also remembered saying out loud "Oh my god! This is so alien!".  My maternal instincts had clearly not kicked in yet.
I remembered being told it was a boy, and being disappointed for about .32 seconds, and then being thrilled.
I remembered the nurse putting him on my chest and I was a more than a little grossed out because he was covered in blood and goop.  Again, maternal instincts not yet functioning...
I remembered being very happy and looking at Tonester like "oh my god - we did it!"  I remembered how overjoyed he looked.  I remembered how much I loved him at that moment (and still do).

I remembered the room way off in the middle of nowhere we got sent to for my stay because the hospital was under remodeling construction.  The nurses admitted they often forgot I was down in that wing by myself.  I remembered the crazy heater in the room that nobody knew how to work.  There was a thermostat we had turned down to Arctic temperature because there was a furnace against the wall we had zero control over that was set to Tropical temperature that was blowing hot air and rattling 24/7.  I remembered the funky pink naugahyde fold out chair, with exposed springs, that Tonester was expected to sleep on.  It was wedged firmly up against the Tropical furnace.  I remembered giving him a free pass to go home and sleep instead of staying at the hospital with us.  I remembered how he got a migraine and threw up all over our car on his way back the next morning and had to turn back around and go home to recover, shower and detail the car.

I remembered how I couldn't easily lift the baby in and out of the bedside bassinet on my own because of my stitches.  I didn't want to bother the nurses so that first night I slept with him swaddled in between my curled up legs like a baby bird in a nest.  I remembered that I didn't sleep much that night.  I remembered that would be the first of a year full of sleepless nights.

I remembered how all our family and friends came to meet our beautiful son.  New grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins and great family friends.
I remembered how someone commented he smelled like maple syrup.  I don't recall if I admitted at the time it was because I had dripped maple syrup on his head from the hospital pancake breakfast I ate while I tried to simultaneously breastfeed him and manage the remote control of the TV.  Just a few hours old and I was already trying to multi-task...

I remembered dressing him in his "coming home" outfit we had picked out months before and shoving his little body into the carseat for the car ride home.  I thought we were injuring him trying to push and pull his little arms through the seatbelt straps.  I remembered Tonester driving 10 miles under the speed limit the entire way home as I sat in the backseat with our son.  I remembered being OK with that.

I remembered arriving at home, plopping down on the couch and thinking "Wow.  Now what happens?"

*****

All those memories flooded my mind in waves while standing there washing the dishes.  It's amazing that an event that took place 9 years ago is as vivid and crystal clear in my brain today as the day it happened.  Especially since my Mommy brain is so tired after 9 years that I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.  I do know that it wasn't pancakes.

*****

Domino, I love you.  You've filled the last 9 years with happiness, laughter and crazy trivia.  You've kept me on my toes, you're worn me out, and you've made my heart soar.  I couldn't love you any more or be any prouder of you than I am.  Every day.

Oh yeah, and I'm sorry about the maple syrup on your head...

xoxo,
Mom