Questions I Wasn't Prepared To Answer...

Do you remember that episode of Friends where Phoebe discovers that her mom used to shield her from the sad parts of movies like "Old Yeller"? I totally do that.

"Finding Nemo" is one of the boys favorite movies – and every time I turn it on I make sure to skip the opening scene where the mom is eaten by the shark (was it a shark - I wouldn't remember since we skip that part). The Lion King? Bambi? Dumbo? Not gonna happen in my house. Heck, Tonester and I have decided to not let the kids watch The Incredibles. The bad guys are trying to kill an entire family for pete's sake – babies included! That movie is rated PG for good reason.

And here’s my current dilemma. (You knew one was coming, right?)

Domino is a very advanced kindergarten reader. So advanced he’s not reading kindergarten books and his teacher is specifically selecting books that will challenge him at his level. The real struggle with this process is it is difficult to find a book that will challenge his reading skills and also engage the 5 year old portion of his brain that still enjoys looking at pictures. Because of this he’s now reading books that have much more mature themes than I was expecting.

For example:

His first book was “Sudden Secrets” about 2 boys who become friends. One of the boys is paralyzed and uses a wheelchair. There was a really intense paragraph where the boy recounts the day he was in the car accident and the doctor told him he would never be able to run and play again. Domino read the paragraph and then there was a long pause. He said “Wait Mom. Does that mean the boy could run before, then he was in a car accident and now he can’t?” Gulp. “Yes” “But his legs used to work, and now they don’t?” Gulp. “Yes” “And he won’t ever be able to run and play again?” Gulp. “Yes”. "Because he was in a car accident?" Gulp. "Yes".

Now, of course Domino has seen people in wheelchairs and with various levels of physical limitations, but I guess I never really spelled out to him that people in wheelchairs aren’t always born without the use of their legs - that terrible things can happen and you can go from being able to run and play, to being paralyzed. It never occurred to me to have that conversation with him and I would have been just as happy to hit "skip" and not have had it yet.

The second book sent home. “Bravest Dog Ever: The True Story of Balto”. Children will die of diphtheria if they don’t get medicine. Dogs die out in the freezing snow and are left behind to become dogcicles. Best of all - it's a true story!

What a nice warm and fuzzy book to read just before bedtime. 2 more things to freak Domino out and give him nightmares. Goodnight buddy. Sleep tight!

Book #3. "Wild, Wild Wolves". Hunters with guns shoot packs of wolves which leads to their near extinction. The “circle of life” is colorfully illustrated in watercolor as a wolf dangles by the teeth from the nose of an “old sick moose” and the rest of the pack kill it and feast on it. Contented blood covered wolf faces looking up from the carcass. Nice visual.

Book #4. "A Mare for Young Wolf". Kids taunt and tease Young Wolf for his attachment to a female horse, not the stallion he is expected to bond with. Indians battle and try to kill each other - kids included.

What a (not) wonderful book for the boy who always gravitates toward female friends and frequently comes home crying because the boys pick on him.

Good god. What’s his teacher going to send home next? This?!

California Goodness

What a gorgeous day today! Tonester had the day off so we went for a wonderful family hike in the hills of Napa after picking both boys up from busy school days.


Almost as beautiful as views of the vineyards and the beautiful Bay Area afternoon...


2 sleeping kids (and dog) in the backseat of the car.

Domino was insisting he wasn't tired and wanted to read more of his weekly homework folder. Good luck with that with your eyes closed kiddo!

Why is it...

... that on school days it requires me going into the kids' rooms multiple times to get them out of bed, much screaming (mostly from Rascal) and crankiness follows, dramatic "I'm tiiiiiiiiiyeeeeerrrrrd" from the kids to everything I ask them to do. All of this just to get them out of bed by 6:45 and out the door by 7:30ish.

.... And on Saturday morning Rascal is magically up at 6:34 and Domino up on his own at 6:45. And they are in good moods. And want to play! And have breakfast! And play on the computer! And watch tv! And set up Hot Wheels race tracks! And obstacle courses! All right now! Right now! Mom! Mom! Can we? Can we? Can we?!

My answer? "I'm tiiiiiiiiiyeeeeerrrrrd!"

Total Eclipse

The total lunar eclipse brought out the crazies around here tonight.




"Go moon! Go moon! Go moon!"

My mother must be so proud.
Love you Bzee.
xoxo

Different

I used to foolishly assume that because my boys are so close in age they would be very alike (in many ways they are). It's always interesting to see how differently they handle identical situations.

I took them to the dentist today. It's a fantastic pediatric dental office, with a wonderful staff wearing Dora and Disney scrubs, and a dentist who speaks like Donald Duck to get the kids relaxed. There's rows of little tvs with video games in the waiting room (just shy of heaven for my boys) and a Disney movie played on a loop on a big tv. The examination area is bright and cheery, one big open room with a rainbow of exam chairs in rows, and treasure chests with goodies to take home.

Here's where my kids are completely different.

Rascal was very stoic today. He bravely climbed right up into the chair and surrendered. He never whined or acted clingy, and even though I could see the fear in his eyes as his little gums were being scraped, he remained calm. He did however pull his little legs up into his chest as they poked and prodded, but that was it. The top half of his body was completely still as his lower half gently rocked back and forth in almost a fetal position. A few minutes later and he was done. About 15 minutes from start to fluoride finish.

Meanwhile in the chair next to him, Domino handled it much differently. It started off bad when he was taken over for the xrays. Can't say I blame him really as the xray film seemed so massive in his little mouth. The technician was wonderful, but Domino was gagging and crying and then completely uncooperative. We called it quits on the xrays after 5 attempts. In the exam room he needed a play by play commentary from the hygienist about each thing she was going to do, each tool she was going to use, each sound it would make, with a quick demonstration on her hand or in the air... and while he was on the chair his entire body was stiff as a board - which was really quite remarkable considering the reclining angle of the chair. Each time she did something in his mouth, he "just needed a quick drink of water" and she politely squirted away and then patiently waited for him to give her the "all clear" signal. Nearly an hour later he was finally finished.

I can't say that I wish Domino handled it more like Rascal. I am so insanely proud of him for keeping it together in his own way. Both boys figured out what they needed to do to survive (get it over with asap vs. learn more about it and make sure it's ok) and both were cavity free.

Now I can relax until summer when Rascal is due for a round of 4 more vaccines...

Hair Do(n'ts)

My BFF Bobsy came over last weekend. She and my hubby talked fondly of my days as a blonde and both heartily encouraged me to return to my lighter hair ways. I'm not sure if they were trying to make me feel better about the abundance of white hair I'm sporting, or just encouraging me to try something different, or even helping me find a lower maintenance option for my current hair color woes.

As a kid, the blonde stuff grew out of my head naturally (that's where my boys get their hair from). Puberty hit and my hair grew darker, I discovered the evils of "Sun In" (remember that stuff?!) and a lifetime of hair color maintenance began. I've been in the red family of colors for at least 15 years. I like myself as a redhead. It seems to suit my skin tone, and more importantly my personality. I've been every shade of red you can imagine, from bright cherry red, to deep burgundy, to more "stay home mom" safe shades.

I've been home sick for the better portion of this past week and have spent way too much time on the internet. I was inspired by my friend's recent blog with pictures of herself sporting potential hairstyles and I discovered InStyle.com has a really fun version on their website where you can upload your picture (for free) and try on all sorts of celebrity hairstyles.

If you're in the mood for a really good laugh, and proof that I don't look good as a blonde, check out some of my hair possibilities...

The Posh Spice

The Jennifer Aniston

The Madonna (aka the hairstyle I sported in 7th grade)



The Jessica Simpson


The Gwen Drag Queen


The Cate Blanchett and Ellen Degenerous Hybrid


Scarlett Johanson and Survivor's Johnny Fairplay's Love Child

The Katie Holmes


The J.Lo Up Do (or Don't in my case) aka The Wilma Flintstone



The Bree Van DeCamp

But believe it or not - not all were dreadful. Proof that darker is definitely better than lighter...

America Fererra/Ugly Betty

Maybe at some point I'll actually make an appointment and pay someone to attempt that style outside the cyber realm. The real question is - what does it look like in a pony tail?!

Pretty Princess

Domino’s class recently wrote poetry, with watercolor art work to accompany it, and it’s proudly on display in the classroom windows. I don’t know if the kids were given a topic, but who did all the other kids write about? Their moms. Who did mine write? Well, Domino wrote his first love sonnet:

To Princess Love Domino

You are nice.
You make me happy.
You are my friend.
You help me.
You are beautiful.

..with a watercolor of stick figures holding hands with a rainbow...

“Princess” is Domino’s best friend at school. She’s not the person I would have chosen for him as a best friend. In fact, I’ve done much to separate them. He’s always been drawn to a single friend, always a girl, and then completely immerses himself in their friendship. It’s never been a “boyfriend girlfriend” relationship – just a boy and a girl who are friends. Heck, romance isn’t anywhere in Domino’s brain yet. He’d no sooner watch High School Musical than eat a plate full of broccoli.

Anyways, as I was saying, he’s had this friend who I have disliked since pretty much day one. She’s a pretty Princess of a girl, comes to school with matching hair and jewelry accessories, often wearing a “pretty party dress” instead of sensible school clothes, and immediately started referring to Domino as “her boyfriend”. She drags him around, gets upset when he plays with other girls, and within a few weeks of school starting when I told Domino to put his clothes in the laundry basket, he angrily announced “That’s it! I’m breaking up with you!” Oh.no.he.did.int.

The teacher immediately picked up on the problem and has done her best to separate them when possible. She moved the girl’s desk to the other side of the room, makes sure they are in different work groups and encourages Domino to engage with other kids. But, it’s a public school and kids can sit next to who they want at lunch, and play with who they want at recess, and the chances of keeping these kids on opposite sides of the playground is slim to none.

I arrived at school a bit early for pick up today. The kids had gone on a field trip to the county library and had come back earlier than they expected so the kids were burning off some end of day energy on the playground. From my seat in the car I could watch all the kids running around and playing. Domino seemed a bit out of it, possibly queasy from the field trip bus ride or possibly his Sensory Integration Disorder causing havoc on a sunny day, so he was just hanging out observing everyone from the sidelines. A different girl came over and took Domino’s hat off his head and taunted him with it. He just sat there. She then took the hat and threw it, still taunting him. And he sat there. I wanted to leap out of my car and throttle the girl. Suddenly out of nowhere, Princess came swooping in like a ninja and gave that bully a shove, gave the girl a piece of her mind, picked up the hat, turned back around to give another verbal beating to the girl, gave the hat to Domino, and then sat next to him with her arm around his back. They sat there together for about 5 minutes until it was time to head back to class, where they walked hand in hand.

I felt like Grinch when his heart grows 3 sizes bigger. I just wanted to give Princess the biggest hug ever. And thank her for being such a good friend. And then compliment her on her pretty dress.

Domino Dichotomy

Domino goes to an "alternative school" where parents are required to work a certain amount of shifts in class. Yesterday was one of my scheduled shifts. Some days working at the school is a huge chore (a room filled with 5 year olds is not my idea of fun) but yesterday was awesome. I had a blast.

Even though it was a rainy day, which usually creates kids bouncing off the walls with insane force, all the kids at school were great. Domino in particular was really engaged with his work, whether it was confidently volunteering answers for the math board, discussing the plot of the book with excitement, or studiously working on his “ABBCDC” foam shapes pattern. He just seemed so independent! Domino cleaned up work stations, threw away his trash, pushed in chairs, handled his lunch by himself… and I stood by in the sidelines and watched in amazement. At one point during snack time I heard him having a verbal spat with another girl (she swipes stuff out of his lunch bag) and it was great to stand back and watch him handle himself. At home, am I used to swooping in to be the great mediator between him and Rascal, and at school he was on his own, holding his own.

I picked Domino up, physically picked him up, to look in a window after school. I can’t remember the last time I actually lifted him off the ground, but it must have been a while because WOW! he's a big kid now. When did that happen?!

Then we got home.

“Mom… can you….”
“Mom… I need helllllppp….”
“Mom, Rascal swiped!”
“Mom…. I’m done!” (as in, “I’m done pooping come wipe my butt”) “Moooooommmmmmmmmmm……”

Where did the kid from school go?!

We got a beautiful fire roaring in the fireplace, put on DVD, and curled up on the couch together. Domino insisted he wanted to cuddle with me and I happily obliged. As we cozied on the couch I stroked his hair and marveled to myself how much he’s grown. He turned to me and said “I love you Mom” and I said “I love you more”.

And then I spotted it. The HUGE dried up booger sticking out his nose. I immediately stuck my finger up there and pulled it out without any protest from him.

That's when I happily realized he’s not such a big kid after all.