"I Wonder..."

Reason #2097 to love Mz. Lori. "I wonder..."

You might remember a post I wrote last year about my conflict about the Santa charade. This year, Santa is understandably HUGE with the boys. At 5 & 6, I don't think Santa and the holiday gets any more magical.

But there's signs of doubt. Almost every Christmas episode we've DVRd addresses the doubt. From "The Polar Express" about a boy who is on a quest to believe (or not believe?) to "Holly Jolly Jimmy", a Jimmy Neutron episode that features Jimmy attempting to scientifically prove that Santa doesn't exist. Where they would have blindly believed, my boys are starting to question more about Santa and what is real.

We took the kids to the mall yesterday to do the obligatory "sit on Santa's lap". While we were waiting in line, Rascal asked:

"Mom? Is that the real Santa?"
"Hmmm.... I wonder.... what do you think?" (thanks Mz. Lori!)
"Well, there's lots of presents around him. Santa gives presents to kids."
"Wow! That's a great observation Rascal!
"So, I think yes, it IS the real Santa."
"Santa really IS the spirit of giving!"


And what about Domino you ask? He sat down on Santa's lap and complained about a present he didn't get last year (!) (which he didn't ask for by the way) and presented Santa with a verbal assault of his desires for Christmas this year. And the things on his list? Not ONE that he has been talking about for the past 2 months, but instead an entirely new list that would involve some miracle workers at the north pole and a miracle worker at the bank!

I know he'll be thrilled with what "Santa" has been able to provide this year and I'll coach him a little better for the lap chat next year...

Time Honored Tradition

The boys and I made Christmas sugar cookies. I had never let them lick the beaters before and they were thrilled when I presented each with one. When Domino was finished with his beater, Rascal had to inspect it to make sure he wasn't leaving anything good behind. He gave Domino's beater a few extra licks just to be sure.

Hiding Out

I didn't forget about you. Really. It's just been - well - busy and boring (sometimes simultaneously) around here.

My boss is retiring at the end of the month and attempting to tie up all loose ends before he leaves, which means my work load has increased significantly - at least for the time being. I have no idea if "my services" will still be needed when his replacement is hired (seriously, who needs to hire someone in this day and age to transcribe 2 faxed sentences because they don't know how to type an email?!) so I'm trying to make the best of it all while I can. The kids and husband aren't always entirely supportive ("you're working AGAIN?"), I've met with my boss more times in the past 3 weeks than I have total since I was hired 2 years ago, and at the end of the day when I just want to curl up and watch The Office and 30 Rock - I have another pile of faxes to type. It's been very stressful and I have to admit, I haven't been balancing all my plates very well.

The boys are officially on their 3 week winter break. Yes, you read that right - THREE WEEKS OF VACATION. Last year, the school district spaced out the vacation nicely and we had the 3rd week of vacation take place during the first week of January. For whatever reason, this year the vacation begins a week earlier so Santa will have one week less of shopping time before the holiday - cuz you know I'm not draggin' those 2 out shopping with me unless I absolutely have to. It's hard enough just going to Safeway with them to pick up stuff for dinner without one asking for the moon and the other complaining he wants to go home. The thought of heading out to do holiday shopping with them makes me want to curl up in a ball and swear off all commercialism - which isn't really a bad idea considering the state of our current financial affairs...

But life isn't all me complaining (although I think Tonester would disagree with that statement lately) and we played hooky from school one day this week to check out the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco. The planetarium show blew our minds, the rain forest was unbelievable and the aquariums were out of this world. We enjoyed lunch outside on a gorgeous and VERY sunny SF afternoon, marveled at skeletons, pendulums and laughed at the very entertaining penguins. At times, I couldn't tell who was more excited to see something, the adults or the kids!

Here's a few photos of the fun.

Thanksgiving Thanks

It's official - Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

For the first time that I can remember in a long (long!) time, my family was together for Thanksgiving. For many years, Tonester's side of the family laid claim to the day and my family would try to gather "some time" during the holiday season. One year my family couldn't get their schedules coordinated and we actually exchanged some holiday gifts at Domino's bday in March.

I've decided to be the squeaky wheel and have now hosted 2 holidays at my house - even being so brave as to tackle the bulk of the cooking solo. I followed up Thanksgiving Day this year with my side of the family with a "Thanksgiving - The Sequel" with Tonester's side of the family the following day. And I enjoyed every minute of it!

The table setting

I resurrected my parents "wedding china" for the day. It's a gloriously awful pattern that I have grown to love for it's kitsch factor. When my dad passed away I inherited almost all of his "stuff". I was only 22 at the time and I lived in a studio apartment that I now refer to as "the blue box". Storage space was nonexistent and I let a lot of my dads stuff go - but something made me hold on to that china. I'm not sure if my sister knew it was still floating around because she seemed pretty surprised to see it.

My Side

This is one of my favorite photos of the day. Yes, it's a horrible photo, but it's a very important one to me. It's a picture of my brother and sister, their kids and my mom. It's a very rare thing to have them all seated at one table together.

What I'm most thankful for...

And what would the holiday be without Tonester and our boys goofing around?!

Bridging The (Small) Generation Gap

Another of my favorite photos - cousins bonding over computer games.

3 D's.

My brother and his beautiful kids.

I wish I had taken so many more photos, but instead I was enjoying "being in the moment".

Thank you to my entire family for making it such a special day. I am truly thankful.

xoxo,
N

Once Upon A Time...

I just recently discovered Facebook. It's funny - I didn't realize I knew so many people. I've reconnected with a girl I went to LCM with back in the early 70's, as well as some folks I have worked with within the past decade or so.

Recently, my old friend Scott joined Facebook and "found me". Scott and I used to both be managers at Wherehouse and he was a dear friend through many of my silly and dramatic early 20's.

He posted this picture of us on his Facebook page.


Who is that girl?!
I barely recognize her.
She's so young.
I barely remember her.

And her hair?! The color! I can't remember it growing that way on it's own but I guess it did. Certainly doesn't anymore.

I look at the picture and think about the silly things that seemed so big back then. I have so much I want to tell her.

I want to tell her that there will be hard times ahead. And she will survive.

I want to tell her that "this too shall pass", just as Dad promised.

I want to tell her that everything she hoped for will really happen - when the time is right.

I want to tell her that some day, her son will make this art on the computer and say "That's our family! Dad and you are on the clouds holding us up, and Domino and I are dancing on a rainbow!"


I want to thank that girl in the photo for getting me here. She had no idea what the journey would be like, or what the results would be, but I can tell her it was worth it.

I Love Autumn

I used to think spring was my favorite season. "Ooh look how green everything is! Everything is blooming!". And then I convinced myself winter was my favorite season. "How I love it when it's pouring rain outside and I'm feeling safe and warm inside". But this tree has convinced me that autumn is my favorite season.


This a terrible photo taken with my cell phone camera, but that tree in the courtyard at Domino's school just takes my breath away.

Growing Up - But Not So Fast

Before Domino was born, we had no idea whether he was a boy or girl. We kept his bedroom a very gender neutral palate filled with dragonflies and butterflies. One of my favorite decorations in the room were a couple of whimsical stuffed dragonflies we hung from the corner of the ceiling like a mobile.


Over the past year or so I've been updating the kids bedrooms. Not huge room makeovers or anything, just pulling out some of the outdated and outgrown decorations and toys. I did make a big change in Domino's room and took down his homemade painted art work that has adorned his walls for years and replaced it with this:


Have you ever seen a kid hug a wall before?!

I added a few more Nascar items and he was thrilled with those as well.

And then I noticed the dragonfly mobile. It seemed so out of place among such big boy things. So I took it down. It was one of the last items in his room that remained since he was a baby. I was a little sad to take it down, fondly remembering the time I climbed up on a chair with my big preggo belly to hang the dragonflies up, wondering about the baby who would enjoy them and what he/she would be like.

And now I know that baby.

What I didn't know is how much he loves that dragonfly mobile. He instantly noticed it's absence and asked to have it back.

Turns out my big boy isn't quite as big as I thought. Thank goodness.

Now It Can Rain

We escaped the rain yesterday and had a really fun Halloween full of parades, parties and good old fashioned trick-or-treating fun.

Our usual Halloween has me at home handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters and Tonester taking the kids out to his sister's house for trick or treating fun with the nephews. This year however the nephews decided they are too old for trick-or-treating (!) so we had to come up with a new game plan.

We drove the boys down the street to the "Nascar house" - a house with 2 Nascar fans who have done up their garage with all sorts of Nascar paraphernalia. We knew they would get a kick out of the boys in their Nascar costumes. Tonester and the boys met them one afternoon while walking the dog and their garage was open. Domino had of course spotted the cool stuff and wanted to look at everything and they were more than happy to oblige. They even gave Domino an old Nascar calendar (1996?) they had kicking around that had Jeff Gordon still listed as a rookie.

After that there was the Halloween drive by at Grandma's and then we hooked up with some friends nearby and hung out at their house watching The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and handed out candy. We even brought over all our pumpkins because we didn't want them to go to waste sitting in our empty house!

I did feel guilty that I was contributing to the neighborhood-Halloween-empty-house-blight. It seemed like there were far more houses this year in the dark than I can remember. All the houses on our block were dark. Tonester said it was about 50/50 in the area they went trick-or-treating. Dark houses were the exception to the rule when I was growing up - and I think they were the ones that got egged. Kids would need to buy A LOT of eggs nowadays.

Here's a few photos of the fun from the day...

"Buzz & Woody" making potions at preschool

"M&M Racer, Jeff Gordon and the Mad Scientist" at Domino's "La-Bor-A-Tory" classroom

"Gorbulas", Lukas, Domino, Rascal, "Ruby" and Daphne

Is this a new Halloween tradition??

Before and After

I would have posted these last night - but 'last night' became 'this morning' before we were finished and I was pooped!

This is the fewest pumpkins we've ever carved because we lost a couple to a serious case of premature pumpkin funk that oozed all over our dining room table long before we got a chance to carve them.

Each Halloween we try to carve pumpkins of characters that were important in our lives during the year. For several months I scour the internet for pumpkin stencils and templates. In the past, finding pumpkin stencils of favorite characters on the internet was relatively easy. That changed last year when Corporate America decided that people sharing trademarked character pumpkin stencils was a criminal offense and all the major pumpkin websites were forced to pull their stencils or forced to close.

This year's gallery contains Sonic the Hedgehog (their favorite video game character), 2 different Transformer icons carved by Tonester (Decepticon and Autobot - their favorite cartoon to watch with Tonester), Snoopy (Rascal's bday theme) and Jeff Gordon's #24 logo (Domino's bday theme).

I hope it doesn't rain for the Halloween parade at school and tonight's trick or treating!!

Wordless Wednesday

Level I - Redux

I missed the sign ups a few weeks back for our usual Saturday morning swim lessons and our usual spots have been filled. With Tonester's new PM work schedule - twice weekly evening swim lessons seemed like a great time filler.

At the end of the last session, Domino was "promoted" to level 2 and Rascal remained in level 1. You can imagine the drama that created. Domino 's been in level 1 for almost 3 years (off and on) and he's seen his friends advance levels while he has stayed behind. He's been talking about his new level 2 status for weeks. He's so proud of himself! Finally! Level 2!!

Tonight was our first evening swimming lesson. It took about 10 minutes for the level 2 instructor to look at Domino's complete inability to get his head wet and decide he was not level 2 material. I knew it was coming. I could see it from across the pool. Other kids were wildly bobbing up and down, sinking down to the bottom of the pool together - and there's Domino barely getting his face into the water. The teacher was trying to explain to Domino and sadly - Domino actually thought he was doing a good job.

So - the teacher pushed him across the pool to the level 1 group with a "Here - this kid belongs with you".

The heartbreak!! (His and mine). He cried at the side of the pool at his "failure" (his words, not mine) and another lifeguard did his best to cheer him up. Rascal kept trying to ask him what happened and that just upset Domino further. I wanted to scoop him up out of the pool and tell him he was doing great, no matter what level he was in, but I knew this was something he was going to have to handle on his own.

And it sucked.

After the lesson was over I had 2 freezing cold and wet boys to deal with - one who was sobbing uncontrollably, the other who kept saying "Why did they move Domino to level 1 Mom? Why? Why? Why?"

In the fall, the recreation department covers the pool with a big tent similar to a fumigation tent. The tent fits around the perimeter of the pool with just a little extra space for walking. All of the bleacher seating is gone and the dozens of parents in attendance are forced to jockey for a few plastic chairs with minimal head room. The ground is sopping wet and the humidity inside the tent causes the ceiling to drip water everywhere.

In the warmer months, both kids hop out of the pool and head straight for the warm outdoor showers. I am able to get one kid dried and dressed while the other stays cozy in the shower until I am ready for them. The circus tent over the pool doesn't include the showers so getting both kids warm and dry simultaneously poses a serious challenge. Why in the world don't they have any "family dressing rooms"?! I can't bring my 2 boys into the changing area in the women's locker room, and I certainly am not comfortable in the men's changing area. What's a mom of 2 young boys supposed to do?

Trying to get the kids dressed proved to be more of a challenge than I was expecting. I wrapped a shivering Rascal up in a towel and plopped him on to the wet seat and instructed him to hold all our stuff. I then attempted to change and console Domino poolside with people walking around us. He was uncooperative and clingy, 2 of my least favorite characteristics in a 6 year old. I wanted to be gentle and loving, supportive and encouraging - but by god when that kid told me that he needed goggles and that's why he couldn't do level 2, the same kid that has refused the 4 different styles of goggles I have bought for him - I really just wanted to wring his neck. The more I tried to help him get his wet feet into his pants, the more they seemed to get stuck inside the lining and caught inside, frustrating us both further.

In the struggle to get Domino's pants on I toppled over backwards onto my butt and got soaking wet from the cement. As a bonus for those around me, the pants I chose to wear today are cut horribly wrong for my figure and I was flashing everyone my derriere in the process. Meanwhile, Rascal is shivering and people are having to walk over us to both leave from our class and come in for the next. By the time I was ready to get Rascal dry, I was ready to give up the "modesty towel" and just strip him down and dress him in front of everyone. We were quite the floor show.

After finally getting everyone dried and dressed (and me wet and exposed) we headed out and home where I had to whip up dinner, supervise homework, console a broken heart and distract a preschooler.

There's just not enough of me to go around.

Through The Eyes of Five

For my longtime readers (Mom!) you might remember a post I did last year that included a series of photos taken by Rascal. I give him the camera every now and then and let him go wild taking pictures of everything around him. He really loves doing it. I don't give him the camera often enough.

Usually his photos are of things that I don't notice or don't find intriguing - but for some reason when taken by a 5 year old those things can be quite interesting. He loves to take pictures of door knobs, light fixtures, toys and the requisite extreme close-up self portrait.

I gave him the camera a few days ago and after deleting his new favorite photo subject (piles of dog poop - no lie - I was gagging just looking at the pictures) these are some of his latest "masterpieces".

I don't know if Rascal enjoys the results of the photos as much as the taking process - but I certainly get a kick out of what sparks his interest.

New Gig - Day 2.5

Just when I thought I was getting more comfortable with the idea of Tonester's new schedule - he announced this morning that next week (and possibly longer) he will actually be going in at 4PM and getting off at 1AM. Which means he'll be sleeping in the mornings and won't be able to take spend time with the boys before school.

Rascal might benefit from this new schedule - he'll have all day to hang with Dad before work, but Tonester will have to leave for work at the same time I have to leave to pick up Domino from school. Domino will really only see Tonester on Monday and Friday evenings, and Saturday and Sunday mornings.

So that sucks. Big time.

You know what else sucks? I have been freaking out about that check I wrote to the curb paint people. What if my generosity bites me in the butt and they steal my checking account info and my identity?! I haven't told Tonester about it yet because I know he'll flip out on me. No good deed goes unpunished these days.

Wow. I'm cranky. I think I need to go back to bed and try a "do over" of this day.

New Gig - Day 2

Last night was Tonester's first night in his new position and new schedule. Even though I have been really apprehensive about this huge change to our lives - he's seems really excited. And that's a good thing.

He got home from work last night after 11PM. I had (of course) fallen asleep on the couch about 3 hours earlier. He was full of energy and enthusiasm. I was full of cotton mouth and contact lenses that were glued to my corneas. I gave him a kiss good night and politely excused myself to bed - asking him to save his stories for me until the morning.

5:55AM my alarm went off. It was the test. Would he get up and get the kids ready for school as promised? I snoozed the alarm. 5 minutes later HIS alarm clock went off. (Yes, we have 2 alarm clocks - long story.) Anyhoo - his alarm went off. He snoozed it. About 4 minutes later mine went off again. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and I snoozed it again. 5 minutes later - his alarm clock went off again.

And you know what? He got up! He showered, got the kids up and made breakfast. I also got up and showered and made the kids lunches. It was the first real "team effort" we've had in getting the kids ready in the morning. On his mornings off he has usually slept until the last possible moment, took the longest shower possible, used the full 2 minute cycle on the sonic care tooth brush (how often can I say the same in the morning??) and then waltzed out and barked orders when we didn't meet his ideal morning timeline.

Today was pleasantly different. He and I worked together. He didn't get offended when I pointed out that Domino needed 2 juice boxes and 1 cracker snack (instead of the reverse) in his lunch box and I let him dress Domino in long sweatpants knowing full well it was going to be 85+ today. I picked my battles and he picked his.

We drove the boys together to their respective schools and then enjoyed a nice breakfast where I heard all about his exciting night before and I tried to learn all of his new co-workers names, then we headed out to pick up Rascal from preschool, got a speeding ticket on the way home (him, not me!) and then he headed out to work for the day and I headed back out to pick Domino up from school.

Rascal has asked me about 4 or 5 times when Dad will be home. I think the last time instead of asking he said "I won't see Dad again until tomorrow morning, right?" - so he's starting to get it.

While I was typing this post, a lovely couple came and knocked on my door. They explained they live in the neighborhood and are facing foreclosure on their home. They asked if they could paint my address numbers on the curb for $20. As my mom might say "There but for the grace of God go I" so I wrote them a check and wished them well.

As stressed as I was about this new transition for my family, I am incredibly thankful for the roof over our heads, the caring husband I have and my 2 resilient boys. So far, so good.

Birthday (Big) Boy

Happy Birthday Tonester.




May you always be a kid at heart.

Transition

My blog just hit the 1000+ hit mark. I know that's nothing big in the blogging world, but it still feels like an accomplishment to me.

It had me curious about what brings people to my blog. Besides the obvious friends and family - what is the draw? According to my blog stats, it's "the pursuit of happiness". How ironic - considering I'm feeling anything but happiness right now.

Life in the A Life of Liberti household is about to undergo a huge change. Tonester told me last night that he's been transferred to a different department within his store starting next Monday. He's been in his department for about 4 years, had complete control over his schedule and we were fortunate that his schedule flexibility enabled him to be there for every important event the kids have had. This move is a lateral move and supposedly has better potential for career growth, but this new position is going to put him, and subsequently me and the boys, on the bottom of the totem pole.

Tonester's being moved to the swing shift - which means he'll be working from 1-10PM+ weekdays. Weekends he'll be working 12-9. He'll be off on Monday and Friday.

I'm freaking out. When in the hell is he going to see the kids?? How does this schedule fit into our lives when I leave with the boys for school at 7:30AM and they don't get home from school until almost 4PM? Where is our family time?? What's left?? The few hours on Monday and Friday night between 4-8 and a little bit of Saturday/Sunday morning cartoons together and that's it.

THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME WITH HIS KIDS. OR ME.

A few years ago, Tonester had a very similar schedule - but at the time it was no big deal because the kids weren't yet in school. He had all morning to play and hang out, have lunch together and then I would put the kids down for naps and he'd head to work. He swears he's going to get up early every day and drive the kids to school, but I know that is not going to happen. He'll get home around 11PM, we'll all be asleep, he'll stay up watching god only knows what on TV, and when 7AM rolls around he'll be too tired to get up to take them. He'll make a good effort, but it will be easier to just let him sleep.

I know that I'm supposed to be grateful that he has a job. I know that I'm supposed to be thankful he's not in the military and fighting a horrible war across the world. I know that I should thank god everyday that he's alive and loves us with all his heart. I am and I do. But I'm still pissed about this massive change to our life.

I'd be a very rich woman if I had a nickle for every time that Rascal asks during the day now "when is dad going to be home?". How will I answer? "What's today? You will get to see him again on Friday." How will I explain to him he won't see his dad again for 3 days?? This is not like a job that travels some of the time. This is what our life will be for at least the foreseeable future.

I know that other families make this kind of schedule work but I'm not talking about other families. I'm talking about my 2 beautiful boys and their need for their daddy. I'm terrified about what this drastic reduction in time together as a family is going to do to us.

And I'm freaking the hell out.

A Life of Liberti - and our new pursuit of happiness....

Randomly Weird Love

I've been tagged! Two of my blogging friends have both tagged me this week - with slightly different tag rules.

My IRL friend and blogging pal All's Quiet on the Homefront tagged me to list things I love. The Happy Homemaker tagged me to list random or weird facts about myself. I'm lazy, and not about to do 2 different tags, so I'm going to combine and make one tag of random/weird things that I love.

7 Randomly weird things I love (in no particular order):

Junk mail catalogs. I know, bad for the environment, but a fun and lazy way to window shop!
The smell of lavender.
Hearing my kids have an actual give and take conversation with each other.
Mornings with fog so thick I can't see my backyard fence.
Chick flicks.
Shutterfly photo albums. I can't even begin to explain to you the massive monkey that was on my back for years with stacks of photos that never made it into albums. Shutterfly took that monkey and beat it upside the head with gorgeous and super easy 12x12 albums.
Tina Fey's Sarah Palin.

And because I've never completed a chain letter in my life (or the modern day "FW:Fwd:fwd:fw:fwd:....) - the tag stops here!

Worldless Wednesday

In The Moment

This past weekend was Rascal's school's annual Fall Frolic. What a joy! Tonester took a half day off of work so he could stay for the whole picnic event. This was our 3rd Fall Frolic for the school and Tonester has never been able to stay for full event so it was a real treat for him (and for me and the boys!) to have him with us for the day.

There was pumpkin painting, sack races, haybales to climb, good food and good friends - a real old fashioned autumn event. The school is a cooperative preschool so we've gotten to know many of the families very well working together so much over the past few years. The event is open to all alumni families of the school so we were able to catch up with friends that went to school there with Domino 3 years ago.


Life has been really stressful for us lately lately and it was great to be able to exhale for a bit and run around and laugh with the kids. How can I capture that kind of energy and spirit on a normal day? It was good for the soul.

And I think our souls could all use a little extra TLC these days.