Losing My Marbles

I used to say "Ask, Tell, Make" was my parenting style. First I'm going to Ask you to pick up your shoes, then I'm going to Tell you to pick up your shoes. God help you if I get to Make and I force you to pick up your shoes. It seems now that I have replaced Tell, and head straight for Yell.

How many times can you remind your child to do XYZ and discover it STILL isn't done without losing your cool? How many times can you ask your child to do XYZ and not get a response before flipping out? How many times can you tell your kids FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH! and watch them jump day.after.day. without having your head come spinning off?

Yell first, ask questions later. It feels like for anyone to listen to me, I have to yell. About everything. About nothing.


It seemed so much easier when the kids were little (okay - 8 and 7 are still little!) and they hadn't yet perfected the art of the blow off, but lately it seems like yelling is the only way to get through to them. Pokemon cards all over the floor? Yell. Left his jacket in the car? Yell. Didn't flush? You guessed it -Yell.

Pick my battles? Sure. But then you end up with a kid wearing Crocs in the snow at Discovery Kingdom because he didn't listen to you and now his feet are cold and wet and "it's too slippery" and he's making YOU miserable with all the whining BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU WHEN YOU TOLD HIM WHAT SHOES TO WEAR. Maybe if I had yelled it?

Or you have a boy who has a meltdown because he hasn't eaten a bite of food since 7:30AM and it's now 3PM, and he's got a full lunchbox that has been ignored. (I'm sure that led to a very productive day at school.) And this goes on every.single.day for a week. And at least 3 days on the other weeks.

Or you have a boy that leaves the passenger door to the car open, all night, because he forgot to grab his backpack out of car when he got home from school and went out later on his own to retrieve it. And now you have a dead car battery from the interior car lights being on all night with the car door open.

They've learned to tune me and my yelling out. It's clearly an ineffective communication tool.

So I've purchased a jar and filled it with marbles. At the beginning of the month I will fill it with marbles. When I feel like their behavior would elicit Crazy Mom yelling at them, out come marbles from the jar. Marbles left in the jar at the end of the month will earn them a reward.

The goal? Don't make mom lose her marbles - and maybe we'll all be happier for it.