Save Me

As you know, I can lean towards the over-protective side of parenting. Especially around water. It wasn't long ago that I decided to stop giving the kids baths and let them run loose in the shower instead. Why? Because I got tired of hovering around the bathroom while they took their baths. Yes, I know - they are 6 and 4 and don't need to be supervised in the tub (really?). That's what a rational person understands. Me? Not so rational...

Recently we went to my niece's 7th birthday party. Kids put their swimsuits on and jumped in and out of the cold hot tub. I didn't realize that Domino had put his suit on and was out there unsupervised. When I discovered him out there (alive and happily playing in the tub) I just about threw up and peed my pants simultaneously. I then pulled up a chair and spent the better portion of the party in lifeguard mode.

So you can imagine my cardiac arrest yesterday at the boys swimming lesson...

This week wasn't a "swimming lesson" per say, but a lifesaving training week. Instead of the small groups of swimmers (there's 6 in their level 1 class) all of the kids from the different swim level classes were in class together.

At first I thought it was cute. "Oh look, they are showing the kids how to throw life saving devices into the pool to save the lifeguards". Domino gave his flotation device a mighty toss into the pool with a loud "GRAB ON! I'LL SAVE YOU!" and pulled his guard halfway in - then dropped the rope and walked away to the next lifesaving task. Rascal tried his best to get his flotation device to the lifeguard but just couldn't manage the size and distance.

All sounds fun, right? I'm laughing along the sidelines with Tonester watching the kids think they are actually rescuing these teenage lifeguards.

And then it took a turn to Scaryville.

They had ALL 30 KIDS IN INNERTUBES SWIMMING THE LENGTH OF THE POOL AND BACK. TWICE.

DID I MENTION THAT THEY WERE IN THE DEEP END OF THE POOL?!!

Rascal is a string bean. There was nothing about that inner tube that was safe for him. I think the inner tube weighs more than he does. They instructed him to lean forward in the tube and the backside kept flipping high up into the air with his face getting dunked. Domino on the other hand, fit the tube just fine but had a false sense of confidence that he could now swim. "Look at me! This is awesome! I know how to swim! Look! No hands!!" he was cheering from the water.

The lifeguards blew the whistle for the kids to start swimming. 28 other kids launched off and created a huge wake of waves that my 2 nonswimmers had to try to swim through. They were clearly struggling.

Tonester and I looked at each other and both had the same "holy sh*t" expression. In that split second we silently and telepathically communicated a rescue plan. He immediately went to one side of the pool while I went to the other. We had to give the kids pushes and pulls to and from the side of the wall. They were not strong enough swimmers to power through and get to the other side without help.

At one point I was THISCLOSE to jumping in. Not kidding. Tonester got the attention of one of the guards and they finally realized the 2 boys needed help and came to assist and moved them out of the deeper end of the pool (not that it helps that much when you can't swim) and then pushed them every 30 seconds or so.

The good news is the boys survived the experience.
The bad news is I don't think Tonester and I will ever fully recover...